


Dissemble

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Character Study, Gen, Jared Kleinman Centric, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Underage Substance Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Some drabbles and musings about our favourite jokester extraordinare; Jared Kleinman.





	Dissemble

Jared Kleinman was not a emotionally open person. His parents not being there for his emotional needs,  and telling him showing sadness, vulnerability is not suited for a man,  he didn't really see a reason to talk about his 'feelings' like some gay ass high-school teen girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. The thought of opening up irked him, so when the _tree fucker_ Evan Hansen decided to corner him- okay, that might've been an exaggeration but it sure felt like it. He felt nothing more than pure panic.

"J-Jared, why is there blood... On your leg?" Evan looked worried. He was fidgeting with his hands, his fingers wrapping around each other. 

_'Oh god. Look at you Mr worldwide! Getting all the chicks nervous! Ooh! Mister popular!'_ His internal voice mocked. He would've laughed at the remark if it wasn't for the fact that his childhood family friend was in front of him and the liability of being labelled crazy. Jared shrugged it off. His scars must've opened up again. Fuck.

"Haven't you heard? I'm the first man in the world to get their own period! We live in a progressive society Evan. Haven't you heard of it?" He rubbed away the blood that was leaking from under his shorts, wiping his hand on his red outer shirt.

Evan just stared at him, questionably. His mouth started moving but he couldn't decipher the words. He's trying to organise his thoughts into coherent sentences before he speaks. Jared ran his hand through his hair and pulled on his shirt collar. A nervous habit that he's been trying to stop for awhile now.

After a moment of silence, Jared feels his hands getting sweaty. Jesus fucking Christ he's acting like a high school girl again. Relax. Regain your composure. He exhales and gives an extremely forced smile. Fucking hell, that was horrible. He could've done better.

"That was a joke by the way- don't take it seriously. Hahaha!" Jared started to legitimately laugh for a solid few seconds. By all means that wasn't a funny joke in his book but laughing felt more relaxing, he felt all the tension leaving his chest and it was actually... Kind of amazing. After catching his breath he didn't dare to make eye contact with Evan. He already made himself look like a fucking psychopath, didn't need not meet Evan's concerned stare. 

"Jared... Are you alright? Do you need me to accompany you to the counsellor- I don't mean that there's anything wrong with you- I mean if I there's something wrong or- if you're stressed and- forget it... " Evan was sweating again. Great.  

_'Look at you Kleinman! Being the fucking amazing boss ass bitch you are and made your only friend be a nervous fuck around your revolting jokes! Bravo, you truly are my hero. Now he thinks you're mentally incapable of being normal like everyone else.'_ The voice sneered at him. 

"SHUT UP IM PERFECTLY FINE!" Holy fuck didn't mean to be that loud. Fuck. Fuck. Evan jumps back a little and starts shaking sand biting his bottom lip. 

_'You really did it Jared fuck face. Now everyone is staring. Smart ass. Way to go. Evan probably thought you were screaming at him. No it was just the voices in your head! Now if that doesn't scream mentally deranged I don't know what does.'_

Jared starts to cough and pull his collar again. The coughing usually happens when he's trying to not puke on his friends. Or anything in general. "I meant- I'm- I- I'm just having a bad day. I didn't mean to snap at you. " Barely whispering the last part, he coughs again before taking a few breaths and continuing, "so I accidentally tripped and scraped my thigh on some rock- like the absolute genius I am, I think the wound started to open and shit so uh yeah! Don't need to worry about me tree boy, you can go back to tree porn or whatever." He waves Evan off dismissively and turns his face away from him. Evan exhaled and rubbed his palms on his shirt. Relieved that Jared isn't... Severely hurt.

"Get well soon! Thank god I thought you were- you- never mind... Class is starting soon s-so I got to go!" He turned around the opposite direction and quickly walked to his destination. He played with the straps of his bag and sighed.

As much as he wanted to believe him.

Evan didn't buy his shit.

But he was the same wasn't he?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this far! Jared Kleinman is such a complex and interesting character to divulge in and I have had extreme fun writing this so far! This is my portrayal on him and I've been extremely excited up to this point about writing him. Hope to see you all again Soon! o/


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